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  • BREAKING: Trump Goes Full Dictator, Uninvites Philadelphia Eagles For Disagreeing With Him

    Donald Trump, News, Politics, Racism

    Donald Trump abruptly canceled the Philadelphia Eagles’ visit to the White House as Super Bowl Champion on Monday, in a dictatorial announcement that could only be the result of his shocking escalation from arrogant bastard to third-world despot after deciding over the weekend that he was above the law and could even commit crimes while in office and never face punishment.


    In a statement released by the White House and attributed to Trump himself (although if he wrote it, he refers to himself in the third person pretty awkwardly), Trump declared that the Eagles would be “unable to come” to celebrate their historic first-in-franchise-history Super Bowl win at the White House because “they disagree with their President” over the national anthem.

    Trump is right in one regard — the players DO disagree with him. Unfortunately for black Americans, their disagreement is over whether or not it’s a problem that police in this country regularly murder unarmed black people, or a problem that the justice system in our nation diverges wildly in terms of punishment based on the race of the offender.

    But the official statement has so much subtext, it’s hard to really process without looking at it:

    Clearly another attempt to paint anyone who is on the other “side” of the issue of kneeling during the anthem at NFL games as unpatriotic, Trump’s statement cuts to the heart of what’s at stake here — compulsory behavior by people he thinks he can shame into surrendering their freedom of speech.

    Like a schoolboy who’s been wronged by a classmate, Trump brags about what a good time everyone else is still going to have at his birthday party, but not Timmy, because Timmy hates freedom. At least, that’s what this statement comes across like — “we’re all going to be there, and if you hadn’t been such jerks, you could have too.”

    At this point, Trump is destined to turn everyone who isn’t a “deplorable” sycophant into a dyed-in-the-wool resister. Ironically, his inability to discern what he thinks a thing is from what it actually is — as in the case of the NFL protests — apparently extends to his ability to do math: There simply aren’t enough deplorables to keep this tin-pot dictator in power.

    Featured image via New Century Times Gallery